Overwhelmed

I started this blog post over a month ago, but never got to finish it until tonight after being on a silent retreat for the weekend. My dear sisters in Christ, take time for yourself to

re-focus and re-energize. Also, please save the date for November 2nd for a half day conference hosted at Father Gabriel Richard High School for an opportunity to help provide a website forum of resources for widows. This will be a free conference. Your input at this conference will be the start of an ever evolving resource for widows called widowsmight.net, It is not affiliated with this blog, but has been started by a dear sister/widow in Christ. More details and registration form coming this week, Stay tuned!

Whether widowed or not, overwhelmed is a feeling all of us can relate to. We all know what it feels like to be overwhelmed with too much on our plate. Often these moments come in waves in our lives--worrying about a big project or assignment at work, dealing with the sickness of a child or an elderly parent, or just plain too many things going on at once. Whatever the case may be, we know how it feels and we also know the relief when the overwhelmed feelings pass.

Being widowed brings a different dimension to the feelings of being overwhelmed. If you are widowed, I think you know what I mean. When your spouse was still alive, you had a person to vent to when those overwhelmed feelings came over you. Your spouse was someone you could trust and be vulnerable with when things were getting harry or chaotic. Often, I now feel like I have no place to turn and I have to carry the burden all on my own. I often forget, though, that I DON'T have to carry my burdens alone. I know I can pray and God will listen. As we all know as widows that sometimes it is really hard to pray and sometimes it is really hard to surrender all that we are carrying. We are bombarded daily with distractions that keep us overwhelmed or add to the feelings, such as the pings on our phones or endless emails. I know I feel that I rarely take time for silence or prayer because I am always moving and always going from one thing to the next. A lot of this is because of the circumstances of my widowhood..there truly is much more that I have to take on for myself, and sometimes, I just don't know how to get off the hamster wheel. And, If I don't get off the hamster wheel, then I don't have to deal with my grief. So, it becomes a crutch. Does this sound familiar?

I always like to say tomorrow is a new day and I am so grateful for the gift of being able to have just one more day on this earth with my family and friends. So, tomorrow when you and I are overwhelmed, lets decide right now to stop in our tracks, put our knees on the floor and really thank God for this new day and ask him to take all these things that are on our plate. I am sure you have heard a variation of this prayer used in 12 Step programs, "I can't. God can, so let Him." Let's find the courage to let Him.

When we are grieving, we can get caught up in a lot of things, even our grief. But, today, give yourself a break, and ask for the assistance of the one who can restore you. If you have never prayed in your life, find a quiet place, open your hands and release those clenched fists, and close your eyes and ask Him to relieve your grief, your pain, your burdens, your anxiety of all that needs to be done. Slow your breath and wait for Him to bring you peace. You will feel the presence of the Holy Spirit. You are asking for your Father in heaven to care for you and guide you and calm you, and He will.

Do not be afraid of being overwhelmed. Let it be your signal to stop in your tracks and call out to Him. I am always amazed at how He shows up to wipe the tears. But, you have to be willing to let Him. My dear sisters in widowhood, I don't care if you don't think God wants to here from you, I encourage you to give Him the opportunity to show up for you. He needs an invitation into your grief. He will never force Himself on you. Use this prayer if you need a place to start:

Dear God, I don't know if you can hear me, but I need you right now. I have gone too many days trying to do everything on my own, and I can't do it anymore. I am looking for joy and peace and comfort and I have been told I can find that in you. Is that true, God? I want to be filled by you. I want to be seen by you. I need to feel your love. Please hear and answer me. Please hear and answer me.

And then in the silence, just listen. My sister, I pray today for a break for you. Please pray for me.